Do I need a big spanking?
Yes, you're incorrigible. This behavior must be corrected.
Golf vs. Camping
Golf is a sport where you hit a white ball into a hole from really far. Camping is when you leave your home and build a smaller shittier home somewhere else for a few days.
What happens if the sun gets too hot?
the sun will get too hot at some point, we will all die.
Will our conversations remain confidential?
probably not.
Do y'all keep it 55th street on god?
Yeah Cuh we aint no custers and thats church.
Today, you have taken another step in your journey towards consuming your share of the earth and
never making an validatable impact in return for what you've taken.
As golfers and campers, we can help you tap into your existential shortcomings and your lack of true potential. Helping you understand and resolve challenges in your life is not our focus. Through you on your own time, understanding your own personal bullshit, you can help yourself realize life’s most painful experiences and we can help you in literally no way.
Whether you’re just looking for drugs to get through a difficult situation or you’re looking to skip town and head in a new direction in life, we can not help you with either. But hey, we are being honest, every other website and person is lying and they just want a slice of your pie in exchange for the subsequent boredom you forced them to endure in order to produce whichever material desire you hope to cope with in the immediate future.
Dont give them your pie, keep the boredom too.
Please contact us for a consultation today and start your journey in living a life you love. Just kidding, get shit on.
Frequently Asked Questions
Don't Contact Us, UNLESS its about Papa.
Please fill out the form below, and we will potentially respond to your inquiry within 3-5 business days.
At GolfCampClassic, we would work with a wide range of people if we actually did anything. If we did do something, and we're not saying that we will, but if we did, then we imagine in an unsupportive environment, our highly impersonalized approach will help you attain the innevitable demise you’re striving for. Our current rate would probably be $10 per 4.5-second session. Inflation is crazy.
